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I LOVE movies, especially sci-fi from the 50’s and 60’s. One of my faves “Them!” was on the other day so I Tivo’d that baby. James Arness, James Whitmore, Fess Parker and a quick shot of Patty Duke’s dad William Schallert (uncredited) from The Patty Duke Show as the ambulance attendant. It seems that ants grow very large after being exposed to nuke experiments in New Mexico, like yikes Scoob.

So, I figured what a great idea it would be to watch this “classic” with my girls. We already notched “Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man” and no issues with that. (Bela Lugosi as the monster? . . . now there’s a nightmare, but I digress) We popped popcorn and snuggled in. First question from the girls, “Are the big ants gonna be cheesy in this movie?’. “Yes” sez I, “They’re not scary in any way.” Wifey chimes in from the other room, “Any nightmare havers see Daddy tonight, not Mommy”. Huh, I scoffed, this isn’t scary, no problem. We made it through about half the movie before it was bedtime. Have to watch the rest another day. 

Midnightish, the sounds of little footsteps approach. Wifey now awake sez nothing. The silence says “I told you so” much louder that way. Me, “Erin, whass the matter? . . . giant ants?”. “Yep” sez she.  Me, “Try thinking of the beach and go back to your own bed”. “Ok” sez she. She’s back in no time, “It didn’t work”. Me, “Ok, get a stuffed animal to hold and see if that works”. It didn’t. As I’m grabbing my pillow to begin the cold walk toward Siberia, (a kids bed where my feet hang over and freeze) I had my own nightmare . . .

“Oh, shit, I forgot to pick up the @#$^*$# parker house rolls from the bakery”. Wifey, “Don’t worry about it, we’ll get some pop-n-fresh crescent rolls, it’ll be fine”. No it won’t. (This is how nice she is, she doesn’t rub “Them!” in my face and then comes up with a solution for my eff-up . . . at 1am no less) First, these rolls are magnificent. I get them from The Woodmoor Pastry Shop in Four Corners. LOVE that place. I ordered 2 doz of the Parkers and 1 doz of the little knots, sans seeds. Second, if I show up on Thanksgiving without “the rolls” justice will be swift and severe. Fortunately for me, they’re open Thanksgiving morning and “the rolls” have been secured. That’s something to be thankful for. “Hey, who wants to finish ‘Them!’ ?”