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Lisa goes out of town for 2 weeks. The next day me and Daughter #2 get sick. We’re coughing like 12-pack-a-dayers. Erin was worse, oh how that poor little thing coughed at night. She had a fleeting little fever that came and went. I gave her the standard Motrin for the fever and Triaminic strips for the cough. Motrin worked, Triaminic was overwhelmed. I waited several days because she wasn’t getting any worse and on some days she was doing pretty well. Around day 7 I call our pediatrician to schedule a sick visit and get the standard screening response we’ve come to expect.

If she’s not bleeding from her eyes or have a fever of 122 degrees we can’t see her. In the past we just lied, “oh yes she has a fever of 104 and there’s blood everywhere . . . when can we come in?” That works well I gotta say. What galls the shit out of me is this isn’t our first rodeo. We know when our girls are really sick and when they just have a cold. We’re hardly ever there as sick patients, thankfully.

For some reason, I just accepted the snub to come in and see the doctor. The screener who answered asked, “how long has she been coughing?” I said, “seven days.” She said, “well coughs can last three weeks, when she coughs for 14 days and coughs up stuff then we can see her, before that we couldn’t tell you anything.” My first thought was, you ain’t a doctor what do you know about it. Now this whole time I’m coughing like a Marlboro geezer.

I decide not to wait and take her to the CVS Minute Clinic on Wisconsin Ave in Bethesda. These places are great, they see you quickly and you get what you need, bada bing. The nurse practitioner see Erin and says, “you need a pediatrician.” She referred me to a small gp practice that accepts walk-ins. So we go there, the Doctor decides she has Bronchitis and gives us the pink Amoxicillin. Erin takes it for 3 days when the rash shows up.

That’s it, I call the pediatrician and we’re in that afternoon. Erin “had” and infection and now mucus is lodged in the lower part of her lungs. So, out we walk with prescriptions for Zithromax, a steroid to open her lungs and an inhaler! I told the Doc about the screening snub and he was furious. I hope something happens there. Erin immediately improved and is now cough free. Meanwhile I’ve upped my effort to that of a 20-packer.

Lisa returns from her trip and tells me in no uncertain terms I will be going to a Doctor tomorrow morning. Off I go to Patient First in Laurel, Md. I get seen, get my Z-pack, ‘Tussin with Codeine and I’m out. They call the next day, X-rays show Pneumonia, come on back in. Now I’m just waiting for a second x-ray in 2 weeks, hopefully all will be good. Whew.