The Museum of Chopped-Off Limbs and Blown-Away Chins
Okay, Saturday was beautiful so TheDadReport crew headed up to one of our favorite places, historic Frederick, Maryland. We put the girls through an hour of unbelievable, grueling, medieval-like torture called “looking at antiques.” After the umpteenth groan, Lisa had to bust out the, “look we go to places for you all the time and don’t complain . . .” talk. They don’t know how lucky they were. I was gearing up the, “do you know how many hours I’ve stood in Aeropostale* for you two ingrates” speech. They chilled tout de suite.
One place we always visit is the Candy Kitchen, I recommend it. Freshly made fudge and other goodies, sugar-free items as well. Also, this time we went to a place some friends told us of, the Frederick Coffee Company and Cafe. We had a simple nice lunch, just what we were looking for, ie: it wasn’t McFatty’s. Give the Chicken Salad a try, it was great. We didn’t have coffee, but our friends say it’s very good. A favorite restaurant for lunch, (white table cloth) is Firestone’s, made even better by the fairly recent Frederick County smoking ban. There are a couple very cool toy stores in town. We like Dancing Bear Toys and Gifts, pop in there you won’t be disappointed. They have a fantastic array of interesting and fun toys as well as nicely chosen books.
As we’re strolling along, we come to a place I’ve wanted to investigate, the National Museum of Civil War Medicine. Or, as Lisa and I affectionately refer to it, “The Chopped Limbs and Blown-Off Chins Museum.” I should have known better than to take a 7 and 11yr old to a Civil War Medicine Museum. Hey, it’s a museum, it’ll be educational . . . plus admission was free that day. So what if they’re scarred for life, pays ‘em back for all the antique crap we got earlier in the day. Piss and moan about walking through an antique store and we just may make you look at a pile of amputated limbs. Oh, wait, they already saw that.
The museum is a small one, easily done in 30-45 minutes. We learned that ambulances and hospitals got their start in the Civil War as did some early practitioners of what is now termed “plastic surgery.” We also learned what size saw you need to hack off a leg. :-) There’s a wall with pictures of men with gruesome injuries/maladies . . . I steered my little one by that gem, 1 point for me. Most interesting was talking with the docent on the various surgical instruments. That’s where you learn about the “right tool for the job”, Civil War med style. My advice is to limit visits to this museum to kids 13 and up.
The entire time in the museum I kept thinking of my dear father-in-law, Milt. He left us a few years ago, much too soon . He was an Orthopaedic surgeon in Chicago AND a Civil War buff. We talked of going to this museum but we never made it.
With nicer weather days in our future, take time to visit Frederick. I think it’s time well spent.
*I actually love Aeropostale because it saves me so much fricking money it’s not funny. The girls love the shit from that place and it is so cheap. Don’t get me started on how great the Aeropostale outlet store in Rehoboth, DE is . . . plus no tax. It’s sad I know this stuff.
Let’s not even mention the dioramas depicting life-size men in all their various states of injury (e.g. blood-dripping, limb missing) all over the museum. Another “high” point was the various implements you mentioned and the questions that ensued afterwards.
“what’s this saw for?” she says
“Oh, that’s the one for removing major limbs” he says
“what’s that saw for?” she says
“Oh, that’s the one for removing things like fingers” he says
“what’s this thing for?” she says
“Oh, that’s a thing you could stick in your neck to remove pieces of shrapnel” he says
“Let’s get the hell out of here” I say.
I live in Frederick County and my two boys just LOOOOVVVEEE that museum. Of course. It has blood and guts and gruesome discoveries.
Next time you visit try Cafe Nola or Beans and Bagels. They are both terrific also!
Jennifer, Cool Gravatar! We do LOVE Frederick. We drive up from Silver Spring fairly regularly. We’ll definitely give those restaurants a go. The museum is great, I hope it keeps adding to its collection. Before 9/11 you could stroll right into the Medical museum at Walter Reed Hospital near here in the district. They had Civil War items that would be a perfect loan/addition to the Frederick Museum. Has the smoking ban affected any businesses? I noticed several businesses had re-located from our last visit. I miss the bookstore/coffee cafe on the main drag. Thanks for the comment.
Perhaps the Civil War Medicine Museum should prominently display a sign at the entrance warning that some exhibits may not be suitable for young children (or anyone with delicate sensibilities). Though you’d think that most people coming to a museum that explores and teaches about this subject should already know what to expect–duh.
Yup, no need for a sign. Taking kids in there was on us no doubt about it. And really, my girls handled it very well. They read the descriptions and asked good questions. I did monitor my youngest so that she saw only what I wanted her to. War is nasty horrid business, it isn’t TV. We live only a few miles from Walter Reed Hospital and downtown Silver Spring is an area where recovering US soldiers like to come to while re-habbing. The girls have seen many soldiers missing limbs. The visit to the museum in Frederick gave them some historical background.
I think the smoking ban affected businesses when it first started but I think everyone is used to it now. I don’t know why Market Street Cafe went out of business but the British Imports store moved into that space.
Liz, thanks for the reply. Glad to hear it hasn’t affected business too much. As a non-smoker I love it.
Ed
Rather disturbing to read the glib remarks about what is admittedly some gruesome content at that museum. It would be nice to remember that these were men who poured out their last full measure of devotion in a noble cause. This is a terrific museum, though not lavishly funded. A little reverence, given the context, would be appropriate. Thanks for allowing me my two cents.
Jay, Thanks for your response. If you read my other posts, read the subtitle of my blog, you’ll see that I’m all about being glib, that’s what I do. It is a terrific museum, always wanted to visit it and super glad we did. I posted what I believe proper guidelines (age) for children should be. I used my own kids as guinea pigs. I also posted what I thought was the best part, surgical instruments. The alternative name my wife and I came up with was in response to what we saw vis-a-vis our kids. It’s glib as is all my stuff, but I don’t equate that with a lack of reverence. Thanks again for your response, keep posting.