Insomnia = TV Infomercial = Sex Aids, WTF?
Couldn’t sleep the other night so I got up and watched TV. You should know I NEVER get up and watch TV when I can’t sleep. I’ll lay there in bed with my eyes open and stare at the blackness for hours before I go to the TV. Lisa is just the opposite, she bolts after a few non-winks.
So I’m tooling around the dial at 4am when I spy “Erotica” on DirecTV Infomercial channel. WTF? Isn’t this the channel with the “Knife” show? Or is the “Gem” show? Anyway, with eyes half open I turn on this channel and nearly rolled off the couch. Aside: Just the day before Lisa and I programmed the TV to hide any slutty “adult” channels, you know like MTV ;-).
Here are two normal looking infomercial chicks babbling on about this wonderful product that “we can all use to better our …” all the while holding onto this gigantic blue rubber dil … er, “girls best friend.” This thing had ticklers, schmicklers, gewgaws and a second smaller dil … er, “girls best friend.” Jesus Christ. If you didn’t know better, you’d think these two might have been selling the Shamwow, they played it that straight, like everyone has this monster on their coffee table. “Just slide the helper slowly … you getting this camera guy?”
Next product up for discussion, “a friend for us guys.” OK, I’m listening. “Notice the realistic …” I was just about to scribble the 1-800 number down when I fell asleep.
