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Before I had my pico-de-yoppo episode, we’d been on a chicken wing tear, here are the findings.

Grilled Wings:
Top honors go to Austin Grill. (The spice is unbeatable, and the house made Ranch dressing for dipping is perfection)
Second place is Hard Times Cafe. (Great flavoring and served smoking hot temp.)

Fried WIngs:
Top honors go to Buffalo Wild Wings. (OMFG … Asian Zing, Honey BBQ)
Second place is Cluck You. (Don’t let the cover of this book fool you, made to order. When they say “HOT”, believe it.)

Erin sprints from the couch the other evening, just making it to the kitchen sink, barf, yak, spew, yop. I know … kitchen sink. That was my first thought until I realized Erin’s stomach tsunami could have cascaded down on our fairly new Crate&Barrel couch, ouch. So why, after watching my poor little bunny throw up ALL of her carrots did I NOT deviate from my eating plans for the night? Major mistake.

Here’s a big f’in tip for you. IF you ever have another family member get the yops, change your eating plans IMMEDIATELY. Do not continue on with your plans of eating homemade chicken salad with bacon strips and a side of tortillas with spicy pico-de-gallo. Think of it as “what food can I live without for several years?” Because you know what, when you’re bent over your toilet a few scant hours later, the last thing you want to “taste” again is spicy pico-de-gallo with subtle hints of bacon. That stays with you, believe me.

As soon as the other person starts barking, get thee to crackers and water and live with it. And if you’re the unfortunate one to kick things off for your family, between hurls tell all that will listen, “crackers and water, crackers and water …”

We went to check out Facci last weekend for lunch. Am I glad we did. Despite the fact that the TV’s in the bar were showing my beloved Terps getting hammered by Dook, I still had a great time. We knew we were off to a great start when the bread came out … and went in about 3 seconds. The pizza is amazing. It reminds me of the pizza Lisa and I devoured in Italy, thin, crispy and fresh. Erin had spaghetti and meatballs. (thanks for keeping the price down on such a simple dish) Austen had spicy sausage and peppers, delicious AND spicy.

We had great service, that’s notable since they’ve only been open 5 weeks! Lots of patrons were sipping wine, either by the bottle or glass. Don’t let the cover of this book throw you, the inside is decorated nicely. If you were driving by you might not stop. Please do, you won’t be disappointed. Read Washington Post food critic Tom Sietsema’s First Bite review of Facci.

With great anticipation TheDadReport.com crew headed down to DC to visit the newly re-modeled National Museum of American History. Not good. My advice, do not plan anything around a visit to this museum. The space itself is divided up into East and West wings with a center hall, all rightee. In doing so, it renders each little space in the wing(s) oddly compact and without life. For example: Popular Culture. You wait in line, the first thing you see as you enter is an electronic portrait of Stephen Colbert, uh, okay. Not the first person I think of as representing U.S. Popular Culture but okay, he’s funny and timely. That’s pretty much the highlight right there. Once past “Colberrrr”, you see Archie Bunker’s chair from All In The Family, a few shoes, a few baseball unis, Kermit and you’re out the door. Wow, not much to US pop culture. And the space is devoid of character. The little area where Archie’s chair resides has zero graphics on the wall, nothing indicating more to see ahead. It looks like a temporary exhibit where someone said, “uh, where are we putting this fricking chair?” “Just put it in a glass case and shove the whole shit out the door there to the left.”

To be fair there are a couple of exhibits worth your time. The Star Spangled Banner is super cool and well worth it. This exhibit is nicely designed, you see the flag and then read the history on the way out. Nice. I also enjoyed seeing Julia Child’s kitchen. It is her actual kitchen from her Cambridge, MA. home. Though I can see it only being of interest to a certain age of visitor. You can hear many parents telling their kids who Julia was. A lot of blank stares and “uh huhs” ahead. “Bon Appetit!” indeed.

The other exhibit worth mentioning is The First Ladies. The docent told us the exhibit will get larger, though it’s worth the time now. Take a look at all of the First Ladies portraits around the room and see if you can tell who the first one was to actually smile. As we sport 2 daughters, the First Ladies Inaugural gowns was a big hit. By-the-by, can someone take a better portrait of Michelle Obama? It may have been updated since we were there, but it looked like someone took Michelle’s pic with a cell phone. Come on.

So that’s it. It has a few things worth seeing but I’d skip it if I had a time crunch. I recommend the Natural History Museum, especially with kids in tow. A tip on parking: The Ronald Reagan Building. Located only a block away, you can park on weekends for $10 a day. Very convenient to the museums as well as the Washington Monument. Plus, it has super clean bathrooms and decent food court. It’s a nice place to stop for a drink or food and relax.

At a restaurant in Chicago last week the discussion turned to bacon. Guess who has the line of the day? Yup, Erin.
Erin, “Bacon is fried guilt.”

I’m out today doing what I shouldn’t be doing: Eating fried chicken at Popeyes. Luv the spicy white 2pc and mashers with cajun gravy all washed down with a gallon of Diet Coke elixir of the Gods. Sad. Anyhoot, as I’m contemplating my choice for dining in the “dining room” I notice a Popeyes employee cleaning the tables. Okay so far, looks like some sort of antiseptic blue liquid . . . I’m cool with germ killing blue liquids. Looks like she’s giving the tabletop a good going-over with the death-to-germs soaked rag. And then I see it.

Uh oh . . .

In the blink of an eye, the tabletop rag has morphed into the seat cleaning rag . . . or ass wipe rag. “Oh no, no, no, . . . nooooooooooooooooo,” she takes the newly morphed ass wipe rag and moves to the next table and  . . . yep . . . it’s now the tabletop rag again. Ass to mouth, mouth to ass, repeat and rinse. Man-o-man. Actually, this is nothing new, I’ve seen this scene repeated many times in many places . . . appetizing.

I do have one bright spot to report: Roy Rogers. I was in a Roy’s in Gaithersburg one fine day getting my Roast Beast on when I spied the ubiquitous bucket of blue. Only this time it had some lettering on it. The lettering said, “For Tabletops ONLY!”

Yes, that’s what I’m talking about. Someone somewhere gets it: “Oh, table wipes are table wipes, and ass wipes are ass wipes, and never the twain shall meet.” Apologies to Kipling.

At our recent birthday party for Erin, the food of choice was pizza. As the pizza was sliced and handed out, the jockeying for more slices began. One little pal’s plea was tops:
Little Pal, “I need two pieces of pizza!”
Lisa, “Why?”
Little Pal, “Because I have a really fast metazolism.”

Which of course prompted ALL the girls start saying that THEY have fast metazolisms too.

In the car the other day, we’re all talking about salads.

Erin, “I love the salad at school.”
Us, “Oh yeah, why?”
Erin, “Cuz it’s always fresh, there aren’t any tomatoes, hardly any lettuce and lots of croutons.”

Looks like I’m late on this one, but get thee to Maryland Day tomorrow. The weather is going to be great. This is a must for all ages, but a super must for families.
Wind tunnels, FREE Ice Cream, Insect Zoo, Robotics, Music, Kayaking, Rock Climbing, Art, Music . . . and that’s just the first hour. Maryland Day simply can’t be described, you have to actually go to understand how great it truly is.

I wrote about it last year after the fact. I hoped to get the word out sooner this year, oops. :-) Been kinda busy.

As a dad of 2 young softballers we’re always on the lookout to watch as well as play. Nothing better than going to University of Maryland and taking in a Terp softball game. The Terps play in the Robert E. Taylor Stadium right next to the Comcast Center. You can drive right up to it and roll right in, all the games are FREE. The seats behind home are very comfortable, there is a concessions stand (yes they take credit cards, no you can’t bring your own food in) and clean bathrooms. (Important to some of us clean-freak-don’t-touch-anything-in-this bathroom-types.) The play is top-notch. You will see it all, homers, strike-outs, plays at home, rundowns, fly balls and more. It is perfectly fun, family fare. Not to mention girls/womens sports get overlooked far too often and that alone makes a trip worthwhile. Girls rule, boys drool. So there. Read more »