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After we hit the mall in DC we invariably stop at Matchbox for some outstanding food. We always try to get there a little after the normal rush times of lunch and dinner. Even so, expect some wait time. We LOVE the 3-6-9 mini burgers . . . brioche buns, angus beef and unreal onion strings, whoa. (3-6-9 is how they come, you can get any multiple of 3) The girls love the mini’s. Pizza is superb, we “create our own” with zesty tomato sauce, mozzarella and basil. Don’t miss the apple/pear salad, it’s fresh and delicious every time. Read more »

On Saturday the entire DadReport.com crew headed to one of our favorite destinations, the Museum of Natural History. In particular the new Sant Ocean Hall, the Insect Zoo and the new Butterfly Pavilion.

The Sant Ocean Hall is very cool, a big whale dangling from the ceiling in mid-swim, a 30ft squid and smaller exhibits just skim the surface of what’s there to see. This is a good link to see the layout of the gallery and to help plan a visit. Remember out of towners, this is a FREE museum, one of many here in DC.

The Insect Zoo which was closed for many months was oddly untouched when it re-opened. Smaller kids will love it, lot’s of bugs to see and room to roam plus one place to crawl through. Austen held a giant tomato caterpillar (felt like a human finger) and a Madagascan hissing cockroach (didn’t touch it) . . . he/she was a big one.

The Butterfly Pavilion was a disappointment. We’re spoiled from our many trips to Wings of Fancy butterfly show at Brookside Gardens in Wheaton, Md. The BP is really small, plus it does have a cost of $6 bills for the big peeps and $5 for the little ones. We’re members of the Smithsonian so we saved a couple of bucks. My advice, if you live nearby go to Brookside, if you’re in town for a visit . . . eh, skip it.  Read more »

With Austen’s softball season eating up most weekends this fall we had to squeeze in our annual pumpkin patch trip last Saturday. We all pile into the car and head out to Homestead Farm in Poolesville, Md. When we left the weather was nice, but about 10 minutes from the patch it opened up. We were too close to return home and go on Sunday. So we braved it. You could call that a mistake.

We all had coats with hoods, all except Mommy. Mommy had on a Polartec that was putting a ShamWow to shame with all the rain it was soaking up. The owner of the farm told us if we wanted to walk out to the patch he’d give us a trash bag to wear. (Cue Austen recoiling in fashion killing horror)

Mommy was the hero, she wore the trash bag over her now sponge-like Polartec. The sight of Mommy in a trash bag suit trudging out to the patch was too much for our 10yr old diva, “I will not be seen walking with Mommy in that.” And with that she stomped off a good 20 feet ahead of the rest of us.

So we straggle into the patch, in the rain, and there we see a bunch of pumpkins that look exactly like the ones already picked back at the main farm building. Hhhhmmm?  . . . let’s see, I could have just bought the exact same pumpkins without getting soaked . . . why am I standing in a field? . . . did I mention the wind picked up and the rain, which is now pouring, is coming down sideways . . . did I mention that? “Hey Dad, over here, (way over here) this is the one I want.” Okay sez I, bending my 3 herniated-disc-surgery- having-old-ass-back down to lift. I take, oh a few (hundred) steps to put said pumpkin prize into the wagon when I hear the following, “Uh, I think I like this one better.” Get the picture?

Of course now Daddy has to slog the three 1-ton pumpkins back to the main building. Funny how that wheelbarrow seemed fairly light on the way out now seemed slightly heavy. Did I mention the rain coming down sideways? At this point the main building seemed to take 2 steps away from every 1 step I took towards it. My neck is so tight from holding up the wheelbarrow that I’m starting to resemble The Incredible Hulk. It’s here, with the sideways rain that Miss 10yr old Fashion Sense knuckles under and says, “Give me that trash bag.” Several hours later (OK, maybe 10 minutes) we were able to finally cover the 300 yards from the patch to the main building. There, I had the pleasure of lifting ALL of the pumpkins once again onto the scales. One more rain soaked slog to the car (did I mention it came down sideways?) to lift the pumpkins yet again and we were done.

Pumpkins selected, hauled, paid for and in the car. We’re all soaked to the bone and we’re looking at at least a 40 minute ride home. Now I DON”T do wet clothes, never had never will. (Cue the embarrassing Dad will do anything music) No wet jeans for me. Next thing anyone knows I’m driving us home sitting in my spanking new Old Navy boxers.

I can’t wait for next year.

Miniature Golf. I used to love miniature golf, now not so much. I’m not sure where or when I stopped giving mini the love. Lots of standing around, kind of expensive for the experience, worrying about that family of 39 jackals that seem to be behind us at every course. I hate it when they start encroaching on us when I’m trying to size up a fairly tough windmill hole. “Hey, do you mind . . . a little quiet in the gallery please.”

Imagine my unmitigated joy when ALL the mini love came flooding back in one big fell swoop. I speak of The Perils of the Lost Jungle miniature golf course in Herndon, Virginia. You can find it at Woody’s Golf Range. It’s a real nice place, hitting range, batting cages and of course the best mini golf going.

Austen near the Mummy's Tomb.

My girls are nuts about The Lost Jungle. You really have to go and play it to see what I’m raving about. Check out a few pics I took on our last visit. The animatronics really separate this place from the run-of-the-mill astroturf lame ass courses that I grew to dislike. There’s a nod to Bogey from The African Queen on one hole, a witch doctor, a pith-helmeted jungle explorer on others. You can walk through a tomb with a mummy laying in it.  Want a pygmy blow dart guy taking a shot at you? check. Want a gator to rise up out of a lagoon to take a chomp at you? check. There’s a tree full of monkeys that have broken into some hooch and are happily swigging away. There’s a cave with bats hanging down from the ceiling. There’s a skeleton stuck in quicksand, a hissing cobra, and much more.

The Mummy at The Perils of the Lost Jungle mini golf

It’s not cheap at $9.25 for adults and $8.00 for kids but hey, it’s fun and it’s outside. Note that you can’t just walk the course with your kids or “share” a putter between two peeps. They’re onto that move, everyone that goes in the jungle pays. Don’t worry, it’s worth it. Sorry I’m late with this review, if you can’t get out there soon, tuck the info away for the spring and summer. Call before you go because they do close the jungle when it gets cold. Now, if I can just hit that ten footer without taking a spear in the ass.

We’re talking about real ice cream here kids. No Slenderita in sight at the University of Maryland Dairy. This is one of our favorite places to get ice cream. We like our ice cream here at The Dad Report. The trouble is the hours of operation make it tough to frequent. Open only Monday through Friday from 10am to 4pm. That’s a tough pull for most working adults.

If you can make it, its definitely worth the effort. Washington Times writer Karen Goff just wrote a nice article on “The Dairy”. I’m really pleased she did because the place is so unknown outside the school. I hope more people will make the effort to go. My favorite flavor is Fear the Turtle. Oooohhhh, white chocolate with caramel and pecan goodness. It is hard to explain how good it is so I won’t try except to say this is creamy ice cream with tons of flavor. Erin always goes for the super flavorful lime sorbet. (I know, sorbet in a great ice cream place) Austen usually tries a different ice cream flavor each time. ALL of it is great.

The Dairy is located right off of Route 1, next to the UMD Visitors Center. There is a small parking lot right there, but pay attention to those 30 minute meters or that $3 ice cream will quickly become extremely expensive.

My best friend and his beautiful wife just had a gorgeous little girl, naturally launching my lovely wife Lisa into baby gift buying action. Actually she launched months ago only then we didn’t know boy or girl, just baby. We were heading back from the Takoma Park Farmer’s Market when we saw a beautiful new store on Carroll Avenue.

“Oh my god, this is EXACTLY the kind of store I’d love to have”, so said Lisa when we stepped inside The Pajama Squid. This is truly the type of store that a staid and pretty boring Takoma Park needs. The PS is smart and tastefully designed with a well thought out selection of toys and gifts. Do not miss the excellent array of childrens books. We even met the owner’s husband, very nice guy.

After perusing the entire store (and taking into account our daughters numerous suggestions) we settled on a super soft striped baby elephant. I had my eye on the music box, was overruled. Something about not knowing the theme of the room, the baby’s sex . . . yeahbut . . . yeahbut . . . it’s a music box . . .

So get down to The Pajama Squid today. Right now. Go. The owner Tiffany is just giving parking money away. What are you waiting for? Huh? Oh, yes you can order online. You have no excuse now for not supporting a great local resource.

Our Sunday mornings in the summer usually start with Einstein Bagels and Starbucks Coffee. Well, actually for me it’s a blueberry muffin and a grande Diet Coke. What? Diet Coke with sweets, uh yeah. In fact, there is nothing better than a stack of pancakes and a DC, more commonly known as the Elixir of The Gods.

Next stop is the Takoma Park Farmers Market. What a fantastic place to take the kids. First of all it is pedestrian friendly. Traffic is closed on the street where the market sets up. Secondly, there are generally lots of samples set out to taste. Apples, peaches, peppers and cheeses are but a few. The farmers who sell at this market can only sell items they produce. You won’t see bananas here. What you will see are many, many diverse types of people. Lastly, it’s just a great place for a lazy stroll to get your Sunday off to a very pleasant start.

We have a favorite farm, Twin Springs Fruit Farm. Twin Springs brings their produce down from Orrtanna, Pa. Right next to them is the guy that we buy our basil plants from in the spring. My girls love to hang out at his stand and smell all the herb plants. Directly across from TSFF is a father-son team that sell the best white corn and later in the year delicious Lima beans. What? Lima beans are good.

In addition to the tastings and sights there are also sounds. The Banjo Man is usually there playing songs for the kids. While they listen, they can also draw on the sidewalk with a rainbow of chalk. Get down there this Sunday and check it out. Here are a few pics from the market, I hope to add some new ones soon. I keep forgetting my camera, ‘doh!

Family and I went to see Kung Fu Panda and I was very pleasantly surprised. Jack Black voiced the lead role of the panda Po, but it was decidedly un-Jack Black. Black is one of those always “on” characters, off and on screen. This effort was different and it allowed the story to come out and the animation to dazzle. NYTimes review describes Black’s work as “gratifying restraint”. Dustin Hoffman is wonderful as Kung Fu master Shifu. The movie has the obligatory message for the kids, this one: Fat kid unhappy, fat kid works hard, fat kid finds niche, fat kid happy. New buzzword: Squidoosh.

We saw it at our fave AMC Tyson’s Corner theater in DLP Digital format. The show times for the DLP version are well worth finding out in advance. It is so much clearer and allows us geeky animation lovers to swoon. Can’t wait to see Wall-E in DLP.

Once again, here’s a site Kids in Mind that gives you more info than you probably want about violence, sex, gore etc. in movies. Here is the review from The Washington Post.

I was supposed to write this a week ago, um . . . sorry. Anyway, here are a few highlights to try to hit if you’re going to Maryland Day 2008, April26th. It opens at 10am, runs to 4pm. A map is essential, it has all the events listed here as well. This event is perfect for all ages.
Bug Zoo!, tarantulas, scorpions, millipedes and more, Plant Sciences Building, 10am-3pm. Eat some liquid nitrogen ice cream in front of the John S. Toll Physics Building, 11:30am-1:30pm (long lines for that one). Eat some real ice cream, all day at Animal Sciences Building. (this is excellent ice cream, and it’s free) Get blown away in the UMD Wind Tunnel, Glenn L. Martin Wind Tunnel, all day. Read more »

Uh . . . who the ‘eff messed with the beef at Fuddruckers? Or Ruddfuckers as my daughter used to call them. Used to be great hand-formed burgers, but now . . . er . . . looking awfully machined. Went into the Silver Spring branch a few weeks ago, took one bite, threw the whole mess in the trash and walked out. Figured it was just this place, not the whole chain . . . surely. Read more »