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Before I had my pico-de-yoppo episode, we’d been on a chicken wing tear, here are the findings.

Grilled Wings:
Top honors go to Austin Grill. (The spice is unbeatable, and the house made Ranch dressing for dipping is perfection)
Second place is Hard Times Cafe. (Great flavoring and served smoking hot temp.)

Fried WIngs:
Top honors go to Buffalo Wild Wings. (OMFG … Asian Zing, Honey BBQ)
Second place is Cluck You. (Don’t let the cover of this book fool you, made to order. When they say “HOT”, believe it.)

Erin sprints from the couch the other evening, just making it to the kitchen sink, barf, yak, spew, yop. I know … kitchen sink. That was my first thought until I realized Erin’s stomach tsunami could have cascaded down on our fairly new Crate&Barrel couch, ouch. So why, after watching my poor little bunny throw up ALL of her carrots did I NOT deviate from my eating plans for the night? Major mistake.

Here’s a big f’in tip for you. IF you ever have another family member get the yops, change your eating plans IMMEDIATELY. Do not continue on with your plans of eating homemade chicken salad with bacon strips and a side of tortillas with spicy pico-de-gallo. Think of it as “what food can I live without for several years?” Because you know what, when you’re bent over your toilet a few scant hours later, the last thing you want to “taste” again is spicy pico-de-gallo with subtle hints of bacon. That stays with you, believe me.

As soon as the other person starts barking, get thee to crackers and water and live with it. And if you’re the unfortunate one to kick things off for your family, between hurls tell all that will listen, “crackers and water, crackers and water …”

We went to check out Facci last weekend for lunch. Am I glad we did. Despite the fact that the TV’s in the bar were showing my beloved Terps getting hammered by Dook, I still had a great time. We knew we were off to a great start when the bread came out … and went in about 3 seconds. The pizza is amazing. It reminds me of the pizza Lisa and I devoured in Italy, thin, crispy and fresh. Erin had spaghetti and meatballs. (thanks for keeping the price down on such a simple dish) Austen had spicy sausage and peppers, delicious AND spicy.

We had great service, that’s notable since they’ve only been open 5 weeks! Lots of patrons were sipping wine, either by the bottle or glass. Don’t let the cover of this book throw you, the inside is decorated nicely. If you were driving by you might not stop. Please do, you won’t be disappointed. Read Washington Post food critic Tom Sietsema’s First Bite review of Facci.

We’re having breakfast at Einstein Bros Bagels in College Park a few Sundays ago when a Celine Dion song comes on the store speakers. Cue Erin who is listening to her iPod.
Erin, “Whoa, who is that singing? I think my iPod just broke.”

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Yesterday Lisa and I are sitting in the living room. Erin walks in and starts pointing her finger at me, then Lisa, back and forth.
Erin, “Which one of you ladies is gonna fix me a sammich?”

Oh the humanity. If I could list all of the failed chicken soup recipes I’ve tried, Ina’s, Joan’s, American Test Kitchen’s, on and on. I’m being a little harsh with the word “failed.” Failed in the sense that they failed to rise to the Gold Standard of Chicken Soup for TheDadReport.com family. And that would be Max’s Deli in Highland Park, IL. If you’re ever near there, GO. Really hungry? The answer is Mish Mosh. Mish Mosh = chicken soup, kreplach, rice, matzo ball, noodles. Oh, don’t forget the brisket sandwich on Challah. (That’s pronounced Hall-uh, not Chal-uh, ugh.) A close second is the chicken soup at The Stage Deli in NYC. I digress.

After much searching, the winner is from the Pioneer Woman Cooks. This chick has mad skills. Here is her recipe, with pics yo! When you print out her recipe to make the soup, and you will, note I have some mods. Her recipe is simple, fast and delicious. My mods are as follows, I’m sure you’ll have some of your own.

- 1 Carrot instead of 2
- 2 Teaspoons of Season-All Seasoned Salt instead of Lawry’s Seasoned Salt
- Deleted 2 Teaspoons of Jane’s Crazy Mixed-Up Salt or other salt blend
- 3 Teaspoons (heaping) of Better than Bouillon Reduced Sodium Chicken Base instead of 2 Tbs chicken base (See, I name names bitch)
- 1/4 Teaspoon Celery Salt
- 1/4 Teaspoon Black Pepper

Locally, the TDR team is very partial to the Chicken Soup at the Hollywood Diner in Rockville, Md. A very close second is the soup at Woodside Deli in Silver Spring, MD. Woodside is in desperate need of a renovation, so just don’t look too close at any one surface. Taking kids? Sit more to the front, the walls are covered in old black and white pics. Toward the front, the pics are more or less from US History, (A subject they don’t teach anymore) toward the back the pics are more or less Fluffy Soft Porn, (A subject you can’t get away from) think naked pin-up gals. All are covered in the requisite 50 year old Woodside dust. Clean the fricking pics will ya! Drives me nuts. Oy!

At a restaurant in Chicago last week the discussion turned to bacon. Guess who has the line of the day? Yup, Erin.
Erin, “Bacon is fried guilt.”

I’m out today doing what I shouldn’t be doing: Eating fried chicken at Popeyes. Luv the spicy white 2pc and mashers with cajun gravy all washed down with a gallon of Diet Coke elixir of the Gods. Sad. Anyhoot, as I’m contemplating my choice for dining in the “dining room” I notice a Popeyes employee cleaning the tables. Okay so far, looks like some sort of antiseptic blue liquid . . . I’m cool with germ killing blue liquids. Looks like she’s giving the tabletop a good going-over with the death-to-germs soaked rag. And then I see it.

Uh oh . . .

In the blink of an eye, the tabletop rag has morphed into the seat cleaning rag . . . or ass wipe rag. “Oh no, no, no, . . . nooooooooooooooooo,” she takes the newly morphed ass wipe rag and moves to the next table and  . . . yep . . . it’s now the tabletop rag again. Ass to mouth, mouth to ass, repeat and rinse. Man-o-man. Actually, this is nothing new, I’ve seen this scene repeated many times in many places . . . appetizing.

I do have one bright spot to report: Roy Rogers. I was in a Roy’s in Gaithersburg one fine day getting my Roast Beast on when I spied the ubiquitous bucket of blue. Only this time it had some lettering on it. The lettering said, “For Tabletops ONLY!”

Yes, that’s what I’m talking about. Someone somewhere gets it: “Oh, table wipes are table wipes, and ass wipes are ass wipes, and never the twain shall meet.” Apologies to Kipling.

At our recent birthday party for Erin, the food of choice was pizza. As the pizza was sliced and handed out, the jockeying for more slices began. One little pal’s plea was tops:
Little Pal, “I need two pieces of pizza!”
Lisa, “Why?”
Little Pal, “Because I have a really fast metazolism.”

Which of course prompted ALL the girls start saying that THEY have fast metazolisms too.

In the car the other day, we’re all talking about salads.

Erin, “I love the salad at school.”
Us, “Oh yeah, why?”
Erin, “Cuz it’s always fresh, there aren’t any tomatoes, hardly any lettuce and lots of croutons.”

As a dad of 2 young softballers we’re always on the lookout to watch as well as play. Nothing better than going to University of Maryland and taking in a Terp softball game. The Terps play in the Robert E. Taylor Stadium right next to the Comcast Center. You can drive right up to it and roll right in, all the games are FREE. The seats behind home are very comfortable, there is a concessions stand (yes they take credit cards, no you can’t bring your own food in) and clean bathrooms. (Important to some of us clean-freak-don’t-touch-anything-in-this bathroom-types.) The play is top-notch. You will see it all, homers, strike-outs, plays at home, rundowns, fly balls and more. It is perfectly fun, family fare. Not to mention girls/womens sports get overlooked far too often and that alone makes a trip worthwhile. Girls rule, boys drool. So there. Read more »