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We’re talking about real ice cream here kids. No Slenderita in sight at the University of Maryland Dairy. This is one of our favorite places to get ice cream. We like our ice cream here at The Dad Report. The trouble is the hours of operation make it tough to frequent. Open only Monday through Friday from 10am to 4pm. That’s a tough pull for most working adults.

If you can make it, its definitely worth the effort. Washington Times writer Karen Goff just wrote a nice article on “The Dairy”. I’m really pleased she did because the place is so unknown outside the school. I hope more people will make the effort to go. My favorite flavor is Fear the Turtle. Oooohhhh, white chocolate with caramel and pecan goodness. It is hard to explain how good it is so I won’t try except to say this is creamy ice cream with tons of flavor. Erin always goes for the super flavorful lime sorbet. (I know, sorbet in a great ice cream place) Austen usually tries a different ice cream flavor each time. ALL of it is great.

The Dairy is located right off of Route 1, next to the UMD Visitors Center. There is a small parking lot right there, but pay attention to those 30 minute meters or that $3 ice cream will quickly become extremely expensive.

I have discovered what may be the best flavored pistachios on the planet.

They were sent to me by my pal Uncle Flakey. He buys them at the Berkeley Farmer’s Market in that hotbed of communism, but there is an interesting story behind them.

Ahmad Dalvi is owner of Happy Nuts Farm of Sacramento, and according to my pal he always has the freshest, best tasting almonds and pistachios. While he provides raw and unsalted versions of each, his most popular offerings are flavored pistachios: jalapeno, garlic and onion, mesquite roast, lime-chile, and salsa. Dalvi doesn’t use any pesticides and all his nuts are certified organic. (Berkeley? . . . certified organic nuts? . . . oh nevermind.)

The absolute killer flavor is curry roast. It’s the most difficult to concoct according to Dalvi. For instance, he has to import fermented tofu powder from China. (Miso is a fermented tofu substitute; the real thing is made from tofu buried in the ground in big clay pots until it ferments and is then dried to make the powder.)

But this being Berzerkeley they weren’t always called curry roast; Dalvi, being the international man that he is, originally called them “Oriental Roast.” However, he received so many complaints—never mind that it’s not considered a ethnic slur anywhere but the U.S.—that he changed the name. Oy.  Read more »

My best friend and his beautiful wife just had a gorgeous little girl, naturally launching my lovely wife Lisa into baby gift buying action. Actually she launched months ago only then we didn’t know boy or girl, just baby. We were heading back from the Takoma Park Farmer’s Market when we saw a beautiful new store on Carroll Avenue.

“Oh my god, this is EXACTLY the kind of store I’d love to have”, so said Lisa when we stepped inside The Pajama Squid. This is truly the type of store that a staid and pretty boring Takoma Park needs. The PS is smart and tastefully designed with a well thought out selection of toys and gifts. Do not miss the excellent array of childrens books. We even met the owner’s husband, very nice guy.

After perusing the entire store (and taking into account our daughters numerous suggestions) we settled on a super soft striped baby elephant. I had my eye on the music box, was overruled. Something about not knowing the theme of the room, the baby’s sex . . . yeahbut . . . yeahbut . . . it’s a music box . . .

So get down to The Pajama Squid today. Right now. Go. The owner Tiffany is just giving parking money away. What are you waiting for? Huh? Oh, yes you can order online. You have no excuse now for not supporting a great local resource.

Our Sunday mornings in the summer usually start with Einstein Bagels and Starbucks Coffee. Well, actually for me it’s a blueberry muffin and a grande Diet Coke. What? Diet Coke with sweets, uh yeah. In fact, there is nothing better than a stack of pancakes and a DC, more commonly known as the Elixir of The Gods.

Next stop is the Takoma Park Farmers Market. What a fantastic place to take the kids. First of all it is pedestrian friendly. Traffic is closed on the street where the market sets up. Secondly, there are generally lots of samples set out to taste. Apples, peaches, peppers and cheeses are but a few. The farmers who sell at this market can only sell items they produce. You won’t see bananas here. What you will see are many, many diverse types of people. Lastly, it’s just a great place for a lazy stroll to get your Sunday off to a very pleasant start.

We have a favorite farm, Twin Springs Fruit Farm. Twin Springs brings their produce down from Orrtanna, Pa. Right next to them is the guy that we buy our basil plants from in the spring. My girls love to hang out at his stand and smell all the herb plants. Directly across from TSFF is a father-son team that sell the best white corn and later in the year delicious Lima beans. What? Lima beans are good.

In addition to the tastings and sights there are also sounds. The Banjo Man is usually there playing songs for the kids. While they listen, they can also draw on the sidewalk with a rainbow of chalk. Get down there this Sunday and check it out. Here are a few pics from the market, I hope to add some new ones soon. I keep forgetting my camera, ‘doh!

Yeah, that Intervention. That’s where I’m headed if I can’t stop my addiction. I guess I’m halfway to being cured cuz I recognize I have a problem. Big time problem. Damn it though, it feels so good when I do it. It puts me on another plane, I just can’t explain it. I can score just about whenever or wherever. Got my latest fix today in Burtonsville, yesterday, College Park. I find myself justifying reasons to be in certain parts of town.

To look at me you’d have zilch-point-shit idea anything was going on. I look and act normal, for the most part. Forget about the money I’m blowing, I just don’t care. Wasting gas at plus $4 a gallon, who gives a shit. I’ll drive anywhere to get what I need.

It goes something like this:

Me, “Hey baby whassup?”
Connection, “Whassup with you playa?”
Me, “You know, it’s your world I’m just living in it.”
Connection, “Whadya need? . . . got a new ship in, limes are killa yo. Get some reds on, they da bomb . . . blues are . . .”
Me, “Stop it. You know exactly what I want.”
Connection, “Damn, you do need this, you all jumpy an shit.”
Me, “Yeah, yeah whatever, I got a problem, blah, blah, blah, hurry up.”
Connection, “That’ll be . . .”
Me, “I know how much, damn.”

Rinse and repeat. That’s me now. That’s my life 24/7*. It’ll stay like that until the end of the summer when things seem to change. I get a little more rational through fall and winter. Come spring, it starts all over again. That’s when Rita’s opens and I can get my mango ice on once again.

*OK, maybe that was channeling The Wire a bit too much. OK, a lot too much. But, every time I get my mango ice on I do channel Clay Davis, “Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiittttt.”

I’ve got my eyes (and hands) on a much larger concern. There exists a staple that I absolutely cannot live without. I can drive less. In our household that priceless commodity is toilet paper. TP, Toilet Paper, The Big Wipe, Ass Cleaners, Dook Scrubbers, Sh*tBegone, you get the picture.

I never really thought about toilet paper before. Before a wife and two girls entered the picture. Now, it is one of my obsessions. It is a minor obsession I assure you. A major obsession would be those Cottonelle flushable wipes. More on that in a bit.

With 3 gals (1 adult, 2 fast growing kids) in the house I started to notice a pronounced drain on the tp supply. Hhhmm? Must be my imagination. I could’ve sworn I just changed that roll yesterday. Oh well. A day later, no mistake, another new roll. Should have been more alert to the clues. Kids, as many know like to use the bathroom, then leave sans flushing. Me, “Hey, who left the foot high mound of toilet paper in the toilet? Is that much paper really necessary for a pee?” I shudder at the number of trees needed for a “number 2″ natural event in my house. At this rate, my family is denuding forests at a clip that would make rainforest/slasher farmers look like they were moving in quicksand. Read more »

It happened to me again the other day. I had to ask one of my daughters to repeat what she had just said. I just couldn’t hear it. Well, I could hear the words but I wasn’t really listening. That’s what happens when beauty gets in the way.

There are times when I look at my daughters and am totally stunned at their beauty. I just stare. I’m simply talking about looks here. Of course they are absolutely beautiful inside. I know them to be warm, considerate and funny girls but they also have their Mom’s natural beauty.

It is wonderful to be a Dad to girls. I love them so.

Driving down Rockville Pike.

Erin, “Oh, there’s an IHOD.”
Me, “What’s IHOD?”
Erin, “You know, International House Of Diarrhea.”
Me, no reply, still choking.
Erin, “Cuz that’s what I get every time I eat there.”

Family and I went to see Kung Fu Panda and I was very pleasantly surprised. Jack Black voiced the lead role of the panda Po, but it was decidedly un-Jack Black. Black is one of those always “on” characters, off and on screen. This effort was different and it allowed the story to come out and the animation to dazzle. NYTimes review describes Black’s work as “gratifying restraint”. Dustin Hoffman is wonderful as Kung Fu master Shifu. The movie has the obligatory message for the kids, this one: Fat kid unhappy, fat kid works hard, fat kid finds niche, fat kid happy. New buzzword: Squidoosh.

We saw it at our fave AMC Tyson’s Corner theater in DLP Digital format. The show times for the DLP version are well worth finding out in advance. It is so much clearer and allows us geeky animation lovers to swoon. Can’t wait to see Wall-E in DLP.

Once again, here’s a site Kids in Mind that gives you more info than you probably want about violence, sex, gore etc. in movies. Here is the review from The Washington Post.

In the car the other day.

Oldest daughter, “I had a dream last night I got a “C” in a class.”
Youngest daughter, “Was it a nightmare?”
Oldest daughter, “Uh . . . Yeah.”